Last night I went and saw Star Trek the motion picture. I'm a total trek nut, better known as a Trekkie. We pulled up to the theater and discovered Star Trek was not showing there at all! Any other person might think, “So go to a different theater.” The problem with that train of thought, is that I had already been to this one, and therefore knew that it was in fact a “Fat Friendly” theater. What is a fat friendly theater? Simple...the arm rests on the theater seats are created to raise up. I'm not saying that every fat person has a big butt, but come on...most of us do! My fat butt has created some rather uncomfortable moments at theaters before.I have had to silently endure the pain of theater seats without raising arm rests in the past. Present company always concluded that I enjoyed the movie, the same they did. They were wrong! As they screamed in fear I screamed in pain, as they sighed in disbelief I sighed in pain. Lol.
The above however, is actually the lesser of two evils. Yes, there is a worse experience then than a painful seat. I've had the sadistically amusing yet deeply shameful and embarrassing experience of asking to return the movie ticket for a refund.
We were the first movie goers in the theater. The minute I saw the seats, I began to eye ball the arms rests with a resentful suspicion. I tried to raise them, confirmed the worst... there was no give! Panic set in for a split second. But then I remembered who I was with (my sister) and panic quickly receded to extreme anxiety. She looked at me and said... “Just try it, there is no one in here yet.”. I did a quick look around, and she was right. So I tried it. The result was not what you might think. Laughter! I had high plained between the two armrests. She looked at me with the sort of expression that could either turn into pity or mirth. My uncontrollable (perhaps nervous and slightly embarrassed) laughter quickly had her quietly giggling too.
We briefly discussed what to tell the supervisor when we asked for a refund (the tickets are almost 10$), and decided to tell him the truth. People hardly ever have much to say in these types of situations when they are handed the truth. When he asked me why we wouldn't stay I simply said “Oh, because my ass it too fat for your theater seats.” He didn't know how to respond to that...got flustered and just gave me my money back. It was embarrassing at the moment...but I find it amusing now.
Well one experience like that was enough to teach me to be much more careful about the theaters I attend. Which brings me back to my complete disappointment last night when my safe theater was not playing Star Trek! My complete and total fealty to the Trek Universe won over my fear of unknown theater seats, and went to a different one. And I'm so happy we did! It was a pleasant surprise. Not only did the seats arm rests raise, there was a little strip of padding between the seats that resembled a type of bucket bench seat! And they leaned back and tipped forward.
It was a very pleasant experience. I was very comfortable for the entire movie, and really able to enjoy it. The movie...was fantastic.
